Men Serving Notice to Shame & Stigma
As a Suicide Prevention Advocate, I regularly conduct research on preventative and protective strategies for men who are struggling with suicidal thoughts. The theme of marital breakdown and failed relationships is a key factor that fuels thoughts of shame and despair in men.
If you are a man, reading this article, and facing a relationship breakdown or marital separation, allow me to confidently assure you that there is hope. Please keep reading. I understand and am very sensitive to the fact that Marital and relationship failure is a difficult topic for some men to talk about openly due to feelings of shame and stigma.
Before we take steps to kick shame and stigma to the curb, we need to define what lies at the root of it. The answer I believe is the concept of Masculine Stoicism. What is my understanding of the term masculine stoicism? I believe it is society’s perception of men to be in control, self-reliant, emotionally strong and to deny personal feelings and vulnerability. I believe that Society’s perception and projection of masculinity prevent men from disclosing mental illness and disclosing suicidal feelings.
This concept of Masculine stoicism causes men to resist seeking help, for fear of being perceived as weak, which leads men to feelings of anxiety and unhelpful coping strategies namely drugs and alcohol. It is because of this that men are less likely to express emotion compared to women. If this blog resonates with you, today, I want to reiterate that there is hope. Many men have been in this same situation as you. Commit to serving notice today on any feelings of shame and stigma squatting in your mind. We have included below three protective strategies shared by men to stay safe during a marital breakdown.
- Regular contact with a person outside your immediate family or friend, with whom, you can discuss your problem, and address your distress. If you don’t have a friend, who you can discuss your distress in confidence, the Samaritans provide a telephone helpline and support 24/7 on 116123. Don’t delay. Phone the Samaritans now. Please talk to someone today.
- Some men find distractions such as the responsibility to others or physical activity (cycling or go-karting) even for one hour, can prevent them from harming themselves. What activities can help to distract you or give you respite from thoughts of hopelessness?
- Another preventative strategy is to reflect on what gives you hope. The thought of our children makes it worth while giving life a second chance. What are other preventative strategies can you think of?
Over the next couple of blogs, we will be looking at further protective strategies. Remember there is hope. Your life is worth living and your life is also worth saving. Be inspired by downloading this free Men Conquering Depression Action Guide — https://choosingsafety.com/action-guide
